Let me start by saying there is absolutely nothing in this world that will prepare you for the sensation of a “surprise-egg-laying,” nor can you proceed with this if you aren’t prepared to laugh at yourself.
The yoni egg, as many of you may know, is described to be a delicate, enlightening, rejuvenating, encouraging, and even powerful tool to get in touch with your yoni, your kundalini, and your inner self. In my experience, this is absolutely true – but only if you can tame her.
Upon beginning this aphrodisiac series, I partnered with the cosmically beautiful Vanessa of Chakrubs, and was able to witness the sexual prowess that is nothing short of powerfully instinctual and wise.
Yoni is a sanskrit word for ‘sacred temple’ in reference to vaginas. Yoni eggs have been used for over 2,000 years. Jade eggs are the original yoni egg, traditionally stemming from Chinese tradition. Jade was considered a sacred stone reserved solely for those considered royalty, or for the emperor’s concubines.
Women utilized these eggs to strengthen their feminine sexual prowess along with the physical strength and tightness of their yoni. It was believed that with a powerful, healthful vagina that health, beauty, and life span would be at their maximum potential.
And as any like-minded individual would be, I was enticed to this mysterious yoni egg. What did she have in store for me? What would she teach me?
This is where shit absolutely gets real – nothing really can prepare you for the sensation of a surprise “egg-laying.” Why it came as a surprise, you’ll find out soon.
After receiving my egg, I waited a few days to begin my exploration. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I chose the Quartz Yoni Egg, because I was allured by it’s ability to connect to the physical and spiritual dimensions of the mind, raising energy to the highest possible level.
I chose to get a non-drilled egg, for sake of cleanliness and in my mind, I felt better having a solid crystal to place inside me versus one with a hole – but that’s just my preference. I prepared my egg, and created my “safe space,” took a deep breath, and in it went. To be absolutely honest, my body sort of inhaled it. It was kind of funny, really. Just like that, it was inside of me and once I realized that it was now sitting atop my pelvic floor, I was rushed by so many different emotions. To feel its cool exterior was refreshing and I was in awe of what just happened. At one point, I could hardly feel it and exactly when I couldn’t feel it was when I started to freak the fuck out.
How do I get this thing out of me?! Immediately, I was trying to fish the thing out of me, and lo and behold my yoni would just suck it back in! I was laying on my back, so I thought if I sat up, maybe gravity would do it’s thing, and it would come right out. Turns out my p*ssy is stronger than I thought, because I sat up, and to no avail, I still had an egg inside of me.
I layed back down. My boyfriend comes in the room and after realizing what the hell I was doing, he said something coy, I laughed, and suddenly, this egg literally projects out of my vagina, and there it was. On the bed. Like nothing ever happened.
It took a second for me to process what just occurred. What had my body just done? And in retrospect – it was amazing what the yoni space can accomplish, what strength can be discovered from deep inside you – literally. I was curious to know more and it was almost appalling to realize that after spending my whole lifetime in my body, that there was still things I had yet to know. Even now, it blows my mind that I could even be more in touch with my body as muse. My body as a medium. My body as an artpiece – as a puzzle, as a journey. This yoni egg opened up a whole new realm of exploration and conscious self growth that I hadn’t even thought to tap in to.
I had yet to create a spiritual and physical relationship with this egg and am humbled by the experience. I understand that I there is much I have left to learn – and forever will I be a student. The path to enlightenment isn’t some easy fast-track. The journey is the beauty, and this yoni egg has inspired a new exploration of the body through the chakra centers, starting with the sacral.
I begin to build, and I can visualize my chakras moving in unison, without wobble – and here I am, beginning on a juicy journey – I can feel the bliss forming from a deep, carnal, space inside of me – and the pleasure of this attunement was something that couldn’t be replicated by anything else but the satisfaction of the act of feeling itself. To feel made me feel so alive.
Beginners Guide to Yoni Eggs
Finally – here’s the nitty gritty of what you need to know about this egg, adapted from Chakrubs:
- Yoni Eggs come in various size but typically are small, medium, or large. Currently we offer the most popular medium-sized eggs. Sizes can slightly vary due to their individual creation out of pure crystal.
- Yoni eggs come in the form of different stones. Which stone calls to you? Sometimes I like to choose crystals (for any purpose) based solely on my intuition, even without knowing the crystals ‘purpose’ or benefits. We feel drawn to certain crystals for a reason even if we don’t know why or what the crystal will have an affect on. There is no harm in knowing what a crystal is good for and choosing that way either. It all comes back to intuition and which crystal feels right for you. Intuition is key. Find more in-depth descriptions here.
- Crystals are like tiny earth computers. They store information. In this sense, as they are somewhat alive, your yoni egg will work with you on how long it wants to be with you per session.You don’t have to and potentially shouldn’t insert your egg right away, although you should do what feels right for you. Spend a few hours or days with your crystal. However long you feel you need to bond with it as it absorbs your energy and gets to know you. Sometimes we can bond with a crystal right away and feel the love. That’s wonderful, but also you can take your time in the process and not rush usage, despite how excited you may be. This is a divine union and connection as your egg is going to be part of you. Take your time, get to know it, let it get to know you. It will absorb and transmute your energy.
- Different Exercises You Can Do:
Kegel Exercises – the simple flex and push of your vaginal muscles. Don’t strain too hard!
Yoni Breathing – this involves kegel exercises, but as you flex in, breathe in. As you release, breathe out. Repeat as desired.
- Cleaning Your Egg:Warm salt water baths and/or sage for energetic cleansing. You can use unscented castile soap such as Dr. Bronner’s. After use, you can simply rinse under warm water, unless it falls into the toilet. You may also put your egg in the sun and moonlight to charge, or during moon cycle rituals.
Self love is the root of everything. Love yourself for making the choice to heal through yoni eggs. It’s not a necessity per se or for everyone, but it is a journey that once you’ve decided to commit to, you will be rewarded.
I have to say, I will be exploring this more often – and will be continuing the aphrodisiac series exploring all that is a vehicle for the body and mind to find pleasure and bliss.
…And for those who are ready to try a yoni egg – If I could do it again, I probably would have gotten a drilled egg so I could have the peace of mind to pull it out on command.